Live at the moment

People always say, live at the moment
So, how if this moment, I feel like I just want to be alone and leave everyone else behind?
Am I gonna just do exactly?
How if i miss them the next moment
Should I just call everyone back...
There was this moment, I  did that, left people I love, stop contacting, and thought that I am tough enough to go through myself
And I didn't, I miss this person every single day and for half a year I still do
The first time after half a year, I decided to follow my heart, I get the person back to my contact list and now, another year past, it is crazy but is true
I am confused but my gut tell me to leave all behind and move on.
My damn gut tells me stop circling the same person and start moving on

I hate detail and explain things
I hate it
I hate false hope
I want to know what is with me and what not
I am not living a fantasy world
I hate emotion
And I hate i had to deal with it everytime I talk to you and act as in I am not and I don't care
I had enough and this is enough

And again, we always delete the conversation part, no detail, no why, no reason
and jump to the end

This is just a story that repeat itself
Another half a year gone and I am definitely gonna miss you crazy every day
I am gonna hate that I cut this off again
Because live at the moment
And this very moment, I hate fantasy, I hate emotion and I hate after years, I know nothing about you
....